Listening for God

13 Feb 2010

I’m 25 years old. When I was about seven a Salvation Army bus started coming to Glen Eden where I lived to run Sunday school. My brothers and sister and I got involved with The Salvation Army through that.

My family attended a very traditional Nuiean Presbyterian church. Its culture was important to my parents but I had trouble understanding it. The Salvation Army opened up the Bible so I could go with it and understand who Jesus is. What I learned seemed more relevant to my everyday life. Mum was all for it because she saw it was nourishing us spiritually.

I started to get involved in the Army’s brass culture, playing baritone, then euphonium, and joining the National Development Youth Band. Music became an anchor for me. I’m not an extrovert, and music gave me a tool to express my feelings. I became a Salvation Army soldier in my late teens.

My girlfriend Sheree and I had been buddies for a long time. We finished school and she became pregnant. Although my church wasn’t judging me, I fell away from God for about a year.

During that time I felt empty. I was totally lost; there was no foundation in my life. I was thinking: ‘Is there a God? And if there is, why does he have so many restrictions? Why can’t people be happy without getting married?’ I knew God’s standards but thought it was too hard to follow them because my partner wasn’t a Christian.

I had lots of questions but I wasn’t actually listening for God. I was selfish and wanted God’s answers to fit what I wanted.

Bringing up a young family makes you more aware of needing God. Alyssa-Jane was born five years ago. Our second child, a boy named Trinity, was born a year later. Sheree started coming to The Salvation Army but didn’t feel that comfortable. Being new was hard.

When our twins, Ethan and Nathaniel, were born—almost three years ago—we had so much help from our church. That’s when Sheree saw Jesus, through what people were doing for her. We married when the twins were on the way.

Sheree became a Christian in 2008. I recommitted my life to Jesus the same year. I remember we were singing a song about God’s mercy. It was the first time I listened to God, opened my heart to him and said: ‘What have you got for me? I’m yours.’

Just after I qualified as a painter I told God, ‘My life’s in your hands, do what you will.’

Be careful what you ask for! A children’s worker position opened up at Glen Eden Salvation Army and our leaders approached me about it. So now I’m leading children into the same sort of journey I started when I first got on that Salvation Army bus.

I experience God’s love through those kids. What drives me is not just them knowing about God; it’s them having an intimate relationship with him.

I want those kids—and my own kids—to know it’s okay to ask questions; the only dumb question is a question NOT asked!