Sensitive new age bloke

Simon Barnett is every bit the carey-sharey guy that listeners love to laugh with on his popular nationwide radio show. But Simon insists that he is a real bloke too. He chats to Ingrid Barratt about being a man, a dad, and a follower of ‘the ultimate sensitive new age guy’—Jesus.

The day I speak to Simon Barnett—currently world famous in New Zealand as the ‘new man’ to Gary McCormick’s ‘Kiwi bloke’ on More FM’s breakfast show—he has been on air talking about popstar Katy Perry’s latest headline.

In an interview, Katy has said she doesn’t need a man to have a baby, and Si challenged that statement as the ‘ultimate of selfishness’. He wasn’t surprised by the many texts he received disagreeing with him.

‘I do feel a responsibility to be a good ambassador for Christ, but we can’t just remove ourselves from society,’ says Simon. ‘It is a tough walk because I’m not a liberal Christian. But I’m also aware that the only difference between Christians and non-Christians is that we know the Father’s love and they don’t. His love for them is equal to his love for us.’ Simon adds that he ‘probably frequently fails as an ambassador for Christ—and please put that in’, but every morning at 5:30 am he prays with wife Jodi that he will represent Christ well on air.

Walking in the doors

Simon (or Si) grew up with his mum, after his parents separated, along with his three older sisters and a brother. Although they went to church, Si says he ‘knew about God, but didn’t know God’. It wasn’t until he was 30, and already a national media personality, that Simon truly got to know God for himself.

‘When I got to 30, I had everything the world might see as success—I had a nice home, a nice car, I was married with lovely children. But inside me there was this lack of fulfilment and this emptiness. And I actually remember thinking, “Well, do I get a bigger house? Do I just accumulate stuff and then die?” ’ He told Jodi that he was thinking of going to church, and to his surprise, she had been thinking the same thing—even though neither of them had spoken of their beliefs.

‘The moment I walked in the doors at church, I just burst into tears and had this lovely sense of peace and this feeling that everything was right with the world. So I set upon this journey, and quickly came to the conclusion that Jesus was real.’

Now 47, Simon’s relationship with God has taken him to a deeper understanding of grace. ‘Anything I do in life, I want to be the best I can be at it, and when I became a Christian I wanted to be the best Christian I could be. I started becoming very pious on air.’ But he says that if he had continued that way, he ‘would have chucked it in by now’.

‘So many Christians seem tired and worn out, because we haven’t understood that we’re not only saved by grace, we’re kept by grace—it’s all grace. I had to get to a place where I literally could not keep trying to be perfect and do everything by my own strength.’

This has transformed the way Si sees those he comes across every day. ‘We, as Christians, can be very judgemental about all sorts of things which make us seem less than loving. Whether it be the gay community, the divorced, the single parent, pregnant teens. The point is that Jesus said there is none righteous, not one! None of us are good enough to get into heaven without Jesus—without God’s unfathomable kindness and goodness.’

The ‘new man’

In person, Si is every bit the open, authentic ‘new man’ that comes through our airwaves, with the self-depreciating humour that has made his show with Gary so popular. A More FM ad quips, ‘One is a sensitive new age guy. And the other one’s Gary.’

‘I think I probably am a sensitive new age guy,’ says Si—who is regularly ribbed on air for his ‘frosted tips’ and personal grooming. ‘But I would say Jesus was the ultimate sensitive new age guy—he afforded huge respect to women, and I take my lead from that. We should honour women, love them and care for them.’

Although Simon adds that he ‘can be a bloke as much as any bloke’. ‘I love hanging out with the guys. To me, the ultimate male is someone who is comfortable with his masculinity, and he doesn’t have to show it off.

‘A man to me can be vulnerable, and a man can be humble, and a man can be faithful, and a man can love God with all his heart, all his soul and all his mind. A man can be an absolute inspiration to his children, and a man can spurn the things of the world for the greater good.’

Raising girls

Si could hardly help but be in touch with his feminine side, as father to four girls aged 14 to 21. ‘Communication is the key with girls, it’s just taking time—but I think that’s true whether they’re boys or girls.

‘One time, I was watching a rugby match and one of my daughters came in, and I could just tell she was worried about something. It was a really exciting game, but I felt the Holy Spirit say, “You’ve got to take the time.” So I said to her, “Look, you will always be more important to me than anything else.” So we had a chat for an hour over a big issue in her life. Sometimes we have to stop the world for them.’

Being a dad is Simon’s abiding passion—his conversation is peppered with stories of his girls and ‘mottos’ that have been part of family life: ‘Love is spelt T.I.M.E,’ says Si, and ‘on matters of taste, swim with the current; on matters of principle, stand like a rock’.

‘We try to talk to the girls about principles. We often play the “what if” game: what if you’re at a party and you’re feeling pressure to drink, what do you do? That prepares them for life.’

Highs and lows

So, to use a favourite childhood game, what are Simon’s ‘highs and lows’ as a parent?

‘Well, a high would be when one of my daughters was nine and was struggling to get to sleep. I told her how much I loved her and paraphrased this verse, “Don’t worry about anything, but in all things pray, with thanksgiving, and the peace of God will come upon you.” I felt that anxiety just lift from her. I went past her room five minutes later and heard her praying that verse. Then, five minutes later, she was fast asleep.’

A low came more recently, when Si’s oldest daughter left home to go to university. ‘I find it so hard not all being together, I miss her so much. ‘When Sam left home to go to Otago Uni, I said, “Let’s not make it any harder for Sam than it needs to be, so just give her a quick hug and let her go.” Then it was my turn, and I gave her a hug and burst into tears, and I couldn’t let her go. It was embarrassing.’

Si also talks openly about common feelings of guilt after losing his temper with the kids. ‘I hate that feeling when you lose your temper. The old me would be, “I’m a bad Christian”, and then I got given a verse, “We are the righteousness of God in Christ” (2 Corinthians 5:21). So I keep reminding myself that even when I muck up, I am still the “righteousness of God in Christ”. And that gives me the ability to say sorry to the kids.’

The close family bond Si and Jodi have created with their children is evident throughout our conversation, as Si often references his girls’ views on everything from pink hair to sex. ‘I’ve been talking to my daughters about sex, and it feels like a risk to say this, but I so believe in God’s grace that I say, “If you sleep with a guy you would be forgiven, and God will forgive you all your sins, but the problem is that there are consequences—and that’s why God says don’t have sex before marriage.” ’

It is an insight into the deeper, more thoughtful Si who has been rocking his frosted hair and bright smile on telly since the ’80s. Come Monday, he will be up again at 5 am, and on-air laughing and chatting about everything from politics to Kim Kardashian, God love her. ‘In broadcasting, I am very much in the world, but I’m also aware that’s it’s not my home,’ reflects Si. ‘I just hope people feel that they can trust me, that I have integrity and that I care about them. That’s what’s important to me.’

Creating Memories

Si and Jodi have long been advocates of Ian and Mary Grant’s parenting programme, Parents Inc, which talks about the importance of creating memories with your family. Here are some of Si’s favourite memory-making moments:

Surprise night: ‘Once every couple of months, we would burst into their room and say “Surprise night!” and take them down to the dairy in their pjs, and they could buy one thing they wanted. The kids loved it—every night they would say, “Is tonight surprise night?” ’

Coin drive: ‘We would drive for half an hour, and toss a coin at every turn—heads was left, and tails was right. We would say that wherever we end up, we are going to knock on their door and have dinner. The tension in the car was palpable. We always jacked it up so we ended up at McDonalds or something, but they never worked it out.’

15 minutes: ‘Every night we have “15 minutes” where we spend that time with each of them when they go to bed, hearing about their days. My youngest still says to me, “Are we having 15 minutes tonight, Dad?” ’

Fast Five Questions

Going forward, is it ‘frosted tips’ or ‘dark and mysterious’ hair for you? Probably grey and distinguished, kind of George Clooney meets Richard Gere … ha, ha, in my dreams!

Best What Now moment (for those of us old enough to remember)? When we used to dress up and do skits, Cath McPherson (my co-host) and I were dressed up as elephants. Cath sat on a chair, and the chair broke and her huge elephant head got wedged in between the arm rest, I could not stop laughing for minutes—it was a magical moment!

What’s the inside scoop on what Gary McCormick is really like? Gary is a bright, articulate, kind, compassionate, funny, charming, supremely talented ... derelict!

Favourite movie you’ve seen lately? The Intouchables (not to be confused with The Untouchables!) The Intouchables is a French-subtitled beautiful movie about one man’s kindness to another. Based on a true story, it is so brilliant and funny and moving, you will love it.

Favourite celebrity you’ve met? Joan Collins from Dynasty fame. She was so so sooooo Hollywood, it was extraordinary. I really thought all that over-the-top Hollywood starlet, prima donna stuff was fake … turns out I was wrong!

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by Ingrid Barratt | (c) 'War Cry' magazine, 6 September 2014, pp5-7.
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