Getting emotional - Part 2

Che Cormack of The Salvation Army in Napier spent time in prison for drug dealing, where he learnt that his drug abuse was driven by his inability to process difficult emotions. Che shares ideas about building a healthy emotional life.

Have you ever tried to pick out where one colour stops and another begins in a rainbow? That’s how hard it can be to distinguish between different emotions on the spectrum. There are eight primary emotions: anger, fear, sadness, disgust, surprise, anticipation, trust, and joy—with a multitude of subtle shades in between.

Learning to recognise what emotions we are experiencing is the first step toward mastering our emotions and the actions that flow from them.

When I am confronted with difficult emotions, I often talk them through with my wife. This gives me the chance to pinpoint what I truly feel and also to experience the relief of expressing those emotions. Sometimes, this is all I need to get relief from my overwhelming feelings and move forward in a positive way. Her listening ear and sound advice always help. Last time, I advised the simple exercise of daily starting a sentence with ‘I feel …’. Increasing awareness of our feelings, along with our thoughts and our bodily responses, is referred to as being mindful.

If you’re struggling to put a name to an emotion, examine the thoughts running through your mind. Thoughts such as ‘I wish I had a car like that!’ or ‘I deserve that more than him’ are clues that point to the emotions of envy and resentment. Further clues come from your body: are you smiling? frowning? are your fists clenched? are your shoulders relaxed? These clues will not be as clear as insights from your thoughts, because some emotions share the same physical signs, so you do need to build an understanding of your own body and how it relates to your thoughts and feelings.

To build on our first exercise, I encourage you to start a simple diary. Try to record at least one event each day, writing down what happened and who was involved, what thoughts you had during that event, what your body was doing, and what emotions you felt. Lastly, record how you responded to your emotions, whether by words and/or actions.

If you want to change the emotions that rise within you, you must change the way you think. The Bible says: Do not be conformed to this world, but continuously be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God’s will is—what is proper, pleasing, and perfect (Romans 12:2).

God speaks truth into our lives. If you’re tired of feeling ashamed and guilty, hear God saying that he loves you, that he has forgiven you, that he is pleased with you, that he has adopted you as his son or daughter. Chase God for these truths and hold them tight. When things get tough, remind yourself of them. This is the renewal of the mind.

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by Che Cormack (c) 'War Cry' magazine, 20 September 2014, pp10.
You can read 'War Cry' at your nearest Salvation Army church or centre, or subscribe through Salvationist Resources.