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A guard over my mouth
Winter is coming … which means that my husband and I are back on the sidelines. We’re seasoned football supporters, so we know the drill: cheer for your child, and don’t be too vocal in your criticism of his team mates, his coach, the officials or the opposition (at least, not until you get home).
I still remember the rapture of our then five-year-old son when he brought home his first Player of the Day certificate. He was so pleased with himself. These days, our now 21-year-old plays in his club’s senior men’s side, and he’s become used to the highs and lows of competition.
Last year, his team was pushing promotion and only just missed out. So, this year, there’s heightened endeavour to make it across the line by season’s end. New footballers have been called into the squad, players are trying different positions, and some are warming the bench when they used to be in the starting line-up. The coach is having to make some difficult calls.
Three games in, the stress is already exerting a toll on us parents. Kids really don’t have a clue how hard it is for Mum and Dad. We’re the ones that should be getting the certificates and trophies!
Game one was an easy victory. Already we could see our team winning the competition. Game two was another win—harder than it needed to be, but the three points were in the bag. One of our players was red carded, but that’s always a risk in a competitive game.
Reality check. Game three was a miserable defeat to the bottom placed team. And with two red cards. Going into half time a player down was not ideal. Finishing the game with just nine men was a disaster.
The muttering on the sideline grew louder and louder during that third game. Words your mother wouldn’t let you say were being hurled around. The coach was under attack, the players were not getting it right, the ref was ‘the worst we’ve ever seen’.
Did any of this criticism change the outcome of the game? Of course not. Did it make us supporters feel any better? Maybe for a few moments as we experienced the solidarity of shared adversity, but there was no lasting glory in it. Did it do much for the self-esteem or skills of the players? It probably had the opposite effect—our shouting was more likely to divide and conquer, than unify any team except the opposition.
As a parent, I want to do better as a football supporter. I’ve been mulling over what the Bible says in the book of James, ‘The tongue is like a spark that can get out of control … It can speak both praises and curses.’ Or, as Proverbs 18:21 says, ‘Words can bring death or life.’
With this in mind, here’s a prayer from the Old Testament book of Psalms that I’ve decided to pray as I rug up for the rest of my son’s games this year: Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.
Perhaps that’s a prayer that you, your children and their team would be helped by you praying, too, before you stand sentinel on the sidelines this season?
Postscript: Game four, a three-nil win against the top of the table team—with notably improved sideline behaviour.
by Christina Tyson (c) 'War Cry' magazine, 16 May 2015, pp3.
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