You are here
Really started living
When I first walked into The Salvation Army I was what you’d call a broken woman. To tell my story—the real story—I have to start from the beginning. My mother got pregnant as a teenager and was shipped away to have the baby. That’s how I was adopted into a typical Kiwi family—the middle daughter between two biological sisters.
From the beginning I lived with a black hole of loss in my life. I don’t remember being told I was adopted, but it simply became more obvious as I grew up—I was so different from my two sisters. It was during my childhood that I was the victim of sexual abuse.
I left home at 16, and fell pregnant myself. The bottom fell out of my world when my parents shipped me off to ‘get rid of it’. This is something that still haunts me to this day.
But just after my 18th birthday, I got an unexpected letter from my birth father—he had kept in touch with my birth mother who was living in Sydney, and I was going to get to meet them both. My birth mum booked a flight to New Zealand. At last, so many questions that had been a shadow over my life would be answered. Then I got a phone call from my birth grandfather saying that my mum wouldn’t be coming to New Zealand afterall. She had overdosed on drugs and died.
How could she do this? Did she not want to meet me? The black hole in my life grew bigger.
I escaped to Auckland and bounced around the nightclub scene. It looked like my luck was turning when I got married, and we bought a house. I got an inheritance from my birth grandfather that meant we were close to paying off our mortgage.
Little did I know that my husband was addicted to the pokies. As his gambling problem grew, so did his drug addiction. He got involved with gang members and became physically and verbally abusive. I lived in fear. We lost our house, of course. Finally, I found the strength to leave.
I met my second husband, Ian, and we have been married for eight years. But I continued to spiral downward financially, and was simply not functioning. We ended up in a boarding house—the next step was homelessness. Due to some stupid decisions, I found myself in front of the court.
This low point in my life actually became the best thing that ever happened to me. I got put on community service at The Salvation Army in Waitakere. There I found people who genuinely cared for me. I had never had this experience before. I was given foodbank and budgeting assistance. While we worked, I slowly shared my story. In return, I found that I was not alone.
I finished my community service hours, and returned that very afternoon as a volunteer.
The Salvation Army has helped me in so many ways. Over time, I got counselling, and the Positive Lifestyle Programme helped me look at some big issues like self esteem, grief and conflict resolution. I really don’t know if I would be here today if it wasn’t for The Salvation Army.
I now work as the Community Ministries Administrator at Waitakere, and I see every day how The Salvation Army helps people just like me. That’s why I’m getting behind the Red Shield Appeal—donate what you can today, and help others like me to not only survive, but really start living.
by Jo Ghent (c) 'War Cry' magazine,30 April 2016, pp 3
You can read 'War Cry' at your nearest Salvation Army church or centre, or subscribe through Salvationist Resources.