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Stand Without Fear
Fiji’s Family Care Centres provide a place of safety for women fleeing domestic violence, but staff say it’s just as important to make sure these women can stand on their own after they leave the Army’s care.
My husband was having an affair and he was also hitting me,’ says Mary*, a resident of The Salvation Army’s Family Care Centre in Lautoka with her three-year-old daughter. Mary had already given her husband another chance after he started living with a girl in Nadi when Mary was pregnant, but then he started doing the same thing again. Unable to return to her family because her father and brother also treated her badly, Mary found herself at The Salvation Army’s door.
Three months later, she and her daughter are much happier. ‘It’s a good place and the manager looks after us properly—like a mother. Before I was always worrying, but now I feel peace,’ Mary says.
The Salvation Army provides 14 rooms at three Family Care Centres in Fiji, in Lautoka, Suva and Labasa. These accommodate females over 15 years of age, and as many children as each mother brings with her.
‘Our centres are fulfilling a significant need within Fiji,’ says Major Vyvyenne Noakes, Divisional Director of Women’s Ministries in Fiji. ‘We work closely with the Ministry of Social Welfare, as well as other emergency shelters, Police, hospitals, the Fiji Women’s Crisis Centre, and counselling agency Empower Pacific. And there is an emerging need for safe houses for trafficked women and their children.’
Women can stay for up to six months and are supported for a further six months after they’ve moved into the community. ‘Six months works well,’ Vyvyenne explains. ‘If people stay longer than six months we have found it can lead to dependency.’
School-aged children attend nearby schools, but many are pre-schoolers—some just a month or two old when their mums come through the Army’s door. Many of the children come from situations of extreme trauma. They have often witnessed their mother being abused and may also have suffered abuse themselves.
‘A lot of the women say they feel love and peace for the first time at our centres. The older children tell us the same thing—these children have experienced a lot, and need love and time to heal,’ Vyvyenne says.
‘When the women come here they can be very scared,’ says Ana Driu, manager of the Lautoka Family Care Centre. ‘They tell us, “We’ve come here to hide from our husbands.” At first they’re too afraid even to go out to the shops in case they are seen.’
Most of the women are escaping domestic violence, sometimes fuelled by drugs and alcohol and often close on the heels of partner infidelity. ‘A husband will go to work in the town and find another woman. Then he will want to move his new woman in, so his wife is now homeless. Often, she and any children are chased out with a broom,’ says Ana.
‘The first thing we do is encourage them to reconcile with their own family, but in Fiji it can be very hard to go back to your family —especially for Indian Fijians.’
This is because of the impact of the Indian dowry system. Once a dowry has been paid, if the relationship breaks down and even if the woman has suffered abuse, she is often not accepted back by her family. As they see it, she no longer has any rights with them since they paid for her to be accepted into her husband’s family. Although the dowry system is beginning to have less of an impact, it is still a problem in Fiji, Ana says.
Mary hopes to find another husband. ‘A good one, for my daughter’s future,’ she says. But Ana says it is important for Mary not to be dependent on a husband to provide an income. ‘Mary is worried for her daughter’s future, but we will help her to see other choices too.’
With this goal in mind, The Salvation Army helps those at its Family Care Centres develop small-business enterprises, such as making products to sell at market stalls. They are taught cooking, sewing and handiwork skills, including tie dying and screen-printing. ‘Whatever we teach them here is so they can stand on their own,’ Ana says. One of the women at the Lautoka centre is a hairdresser, so the Army has helped by buying the products she needs to work in her trade.
The Salvation Army also makes sure that women and children at its centres access their financial entitlements. Even if a woman is not legally married, her ex-partner is obligated to pay child maintenance. The Salvation Army supports women to apply for legal aid and pursue their rights through the court. If a husband doesn’t work and can’t pay maintenance, women are helped to apply for social welfare assistance so they can receive some money and food vouchers.
Lautoka case worker Nainasa Tadulala says, ‘A challenge for the women who come here is that they often have young children and don’t have the support of extended family, so they need something that will give them an income but still leave them time to be a good mother.’
Learning to be good mothers is another important goal for Family Care Centre staff, says Vyvyenne. ‘Recently, we’ve been sent a family of a woman and six children—the oldest child had been raped by the woman’s husband and the case was going through the court. So Social Welfare has asked us to teach the mother parenting skills while she was with us.’
This is partly done by role modelling healthy interaction with children. As well, no one is allowed to leave their child in the care of someone else when they go out—mothers are encouraged to be personally vigilant about their children’s wellbeing at all times.
When it comes time for women to leave, anyone still at risk from an ex-partner is rehoused further away. Some women do reconcile with their partners, but only if they will be safe and the relationship can still work—and the women are stronger now, says Ana.
Those who don’t already have a church connection are introduced to the local Salvation Army where they will be living. This provides an additional measure of support and encouragement as women continue to make a better future for themselves and their family.
*not her real name
You can become a Family Care Sponsor. Please visit www.salvationarmy.org.nz/FijiFamilyCare
By Christina Tyson (c) 'War Cry' magazine, 17 September 2016, pp 10-11
You can read 'War Cry' at your nearest Salvation Army church or centre, or subscribe through Salvationist Resources.