Suffering in silence

Pastors are far more likely than the general population to have depression, according to recent research. But there are still many misconceptions about mental health within the Church. This silent suffering has inspired the inaugural conference ‘Mental Health and the Church’, to be held on 14 June.

About a quarter of US pastors (23 percent) say they’ve experienced some kind of mental illness, while 12 percent say they received a diagnosis for a mental health condition, according to 2013 LifeWay Research findings.

That’s compared to a national average of around seven per cent. Perhaps even more telling is that pastors very rarely let their congregation know about their struggles with mental health.

And there’s no reason to think New Zealand church leaders fare any better, according to Willow Creek Association New Zealand executive director, Alan Vink, who is co-convening of the Mental Health and the Church conference.  ‘It wouldn’t be overstating it to saying that pastors are bleeding on the roadside. Depression and anxiety is everywhere,’ he says.

The very high expectations that pastors and church leaders, including corps officers, bring to the job—coupled with inevitable disappointments—can be a potent mix: ‘[Pastors] come out of Bible college with great theology and theory, but when they hit the turf they suddenly face things they have not had been prepared for—like looking after the church finances, conflict with their board, people that don’t like them, compliance issues …
‘Pastors say, “I thought I was just going to love people and teach the Bible.” Expectations are high and there’s disappointment after disappointment. When it’s emotionally difficult, and you get more and more depleted, depression inevitably sets in.’ 

The Salvation Army better equips its officers than many other churches, adds Alan, ‘but it definitely also happens in the Sallies’.

Dr Andrew Darby, the clinical director of adult mental services at Waikato DHB, will be speaking at the conference specifically to pastors struggling with depression of some kind. The conference will be held on 14 June, 9 am–4 pm, at Windsor Park Baptist Church in Auckland.

Windsor Park Baptist is at the forefront of churches in New Zealand working in the area of mental health. In the early ’90s, the church began ‘Equip’, providing mental health services within the community. Equip now has a staff of 75, and has contracts with three Auckland DHBs. 

‘We began really as a response to community need,’ says Equip CEO and conference co-convener Naomi Cowan. ‘If we’re really embracing the message of Christ, then the Church has to be safe place where people can come at a point of distress in their lives.’

One of the aims of the conference is to help church leaders better support people with mental health issues within their congregations.

But the Church can often be a scary place for people with serious mental health issues, explains Naomi. At times, they can even be at risk of spiritual abuse: ‘When someone is unwell, they can appear to be spiritually seeking. So it’s easy to wade in and get a faith commitment, when that’s not really what they want. This can cause a power imbalance and even feelings of spiritual abuse.

‘Sometimes churches can care too much and disempower people. You may pick up people’s decisions for them, and create dependency, when it would be better for them to make decisions themselves.’

Church culture has come a long way from the days when many Christians believed that mental illness was the result of sin. But there are still subtle misconceptions that can be very damaging. One is that mental illness is purely spiritual and can be ‘prayed out’.

Rather than being condemned by God, mental ill health may even be a blessing in disguise, Naomi says: ‘It could be God using your body to tell you that some changes are needed.’

Mental illness is not a sign of spiritual weakness, agrees Alan: ‘Whatever type of illness we suffer from, we are whole human beings. If you have an illness or dysfunction in one part, it affects all the parts. So, yes, mental health is spiritual—it’s also emotional and physical. Where one ends and another begins, no one knows.’

Christians may feel that if they have the ‘joy of the Lord’ they shouldn’t suffer depression—but Naomi stresses that mental health is a medical issue that may need a medical diagnosis. ‘We need to take away the “should”—“I should be happy, I should be joyful.” No one is happy all the time.’

An issue that still carries a stigma within the Church—and culture itself—is suicide. Amanda Christian, a psychologist specialising in suicide, will be speaking at the conference about how churches can be better informed about the issue, and how to help people bereaved by suicide.

‘Suicide is a trajectory,’ explains Amanda. ‘It begins way back. People are at greater risk of suicide if their risk factors are high, and their protective factors are low. Then they have a trigger like a relationship breakup. Most people won’t suicide after a relationship break up, but that might the end of a long trajectory for someone.’

Risk factors can include feelings of being a burden to family, friends and society; a tolerance for pain and injury; not communicating their distress; a feeling of being overwhelmed and that there is no way out; and a personal crisis such as a big family or financial issues. All these things can lead to ‘psychache’—an unbearable psychological pain.

Protective factors include ‘helping seeking behaviour’—knowing where to seek help, communicating that you are distressed, a supportive family and good coping skills.

Faith communities generally provide excellent protective factors, and can become a place of healing. But if someone feels ostracised and unaccepted, the Church can become a serious risk factor.

In addition to people at risk of suicide, Amanda stresses that many more people in our faith communities are bereaved by a loved one’s suicide. ‘There are feelings unique to those bereaved by suicide,’ explains Amanda. ‘As well as severe grief, loss and the sense of disbelief that comes with a sudden death, the bereaved by suicide deal with guilt, blame, anger, shame and isolation.

‘In social situations, they’re not only dealing with their own grief, but with the shock and horror of other people. So people will isolate themselves. It’s important to help people talk about their loved one’s suicide, so they can express their feelings and move towards healing.’

Alan sums up the role of the Church as simply being a place where people with mental health issues can receive some tender, loving care: ‘It is an illness and when you’re ill you need some TLC. You need people who understand you and will be a companion on the road with you, without any expectations put on you. At times, the Church needs to be a hospital.’

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by Ingrid Barratt (c) 'War Cry' magazine, 14 May 2016, pp10-11
You can read 'War Cry' at your nearest Salvation Army church or centre, or subscribe through Salvationist Resources.